Because the Goose isn't equipped with a kitchen of her own (yet,) I generally have to eat out for every meal. So tonight, I decided to go to this semi-fast food restaurant called Fat Burger to grab a quick bite to eat and to work on a project I have for work. And while I was eating my meal, perhaps the douchiest couple i've ever witnessed came walking through the front door.
I try my best to generally not slander anyone, but these two were incredible. They were easily in their mid 50's and were obviously not wealthy; but they carried this persona that suggested the world was meant to serve their every need.
There were two employees that worked the front. Both hispanic women probably in their late 30's. One worked the grill and didn't speak much english, while the other worked the cash register and spoke fluently.
I really didn't take notice of the couple until they started ordering. They were pretty loud and they were acting as if they were designing the next iphone. The color and size of the meat, how melted the cheese is, was the lettuce going to be the leafy part or crispy part? diced onions or whole sliced? On and on they went. And through their entire ordering process I had but one thought:
"It's a hamburger."
After they ordered and sat down, I went back to work. But that didn't last too long. The guy stood up from his table to manage how their burgers were being cooked. This is when I lost all concentration on what I was doing and focused completely on this couple. He was complaining about how the speed at which the cheese was melting on the burger. THE CHEESE! ! ! He kept asking the woman at the grill to put a cover over the cheese to speed up the process. I believe his exact words were:
"Don't you have something to cover up the cheese so it'll melt faster? You speak english? Comprendé? Melto Cheeso. Maybe I should come back there and cook the thing." I couldn't believe it. The entire place was silent except for the sounds of him and his wife chuckling at his joke. The cashier eventually translated to the cook what to do after she had finished taking a to go order over the phone. And just as I think this guy couldn't get any douchier, he tells his wife to get up and take a look at the meat on the grill to see if it's the way she wants it.
I was totally perplexed, I thought these kind of people only existed in movies! What were they doing at a Fat Burger?!? I tried to get back to work, but curiosity got the better of me, and all I could do was ease drop on their conversation to try and find out what kind of things this couple talks about. Reader's Digest version: their entire conversation evolved around complaining about their friends, complaining about the work being currently done to their house and complaining about how bad their burgers were.
I was completely finished with my meal, and no longer in the mindset to work; but I wanted to wait until they were gone before getting up to leave, just so I get the full experience. At the entrance to the restaurant is a giant trash can with a compartment on top to place your trays when people finish eating. Just like every other fast food restaurant around the world has done since the beginning of fast food. You finish eating, you dump your trash, and you place your tray on top of the other trays; it's that simple. I've even seen 4 year olds climb on top of trash cans to get that tray up there. I'll give you one guess as to what this couple did with their trash.
Anyways, I learned two important lessons tonight:
1) I need to start tipping the tip bucket a lot more and not just the servers in a sit down restaurant.
2) Even douche bags can find love; but it's usually with another douche.
I try my best to generally not slander anyone, but these two were incredible. They were easily in their mid 50's and were obviously not wealthy; but they carried this persona that suggested the world was meant to serve their every need.
There were two employees that worked the front. Both hispanic women probably in their late 30's. One worked the grill and didn't speak much english, while the other worked the cash register and spoke fluently.
I really didn't take notice of the couple until they started ordering. They were pretty loud and they were acting as if they were designing the next iphone. The color and size of the meat, how melted the cheese is, was the lettuce going to be the leafy part or crispy part? diced onions or whole sliced? On and on they went. And through their entire ordering process I had but one thought:
"It's a hamburger."
After they ordered and sat down, I went back to work. But that didn't last too long. The guy stood up from his table to manage how their burgers were being cooked. This is when I lost all concentration on what I was doing and focused completely on this couple. He was complaining about how the speed at which the cheese was melting on the burger. THE CHEESE! ! ! He kept asking the woman at the grill to put a cover over the cheese to speed up the process. I believe his exact words were:
"Don't you have something to cover up the cheese so it'll melt faster? You speak english? Comprendé? Melto Cheeso. Maybe I should come back there and cook the thing." I couldn't believe it. The entire place was silent except for the sounds of him and his wife chuckling at his joke. The cashier eventually translated to the cook what to do after she had finished taking a to go order over the phone. And just as I think this guy couldn't get any douchier, he tells his wife to get up and take a look at the meat on the grill to see if it's the way she wants it.
I was totally perplexed, I thought these kind of people only existed in movies! What were they doing at a Fat Burger?!? I tried to get back to work, but curiosity got the better of me, and all I could do was ease drop on their conversation to try and find out what kind of things this couple talks about. Reader's Digest version: their entire conversation evolved around complaining about their friends, complaining about the work being currently done to their house and complaining about how bad their burgers were.
I was completely finished with my meal, and no longer in the mindset to work; but I wanted to wait until they were gone before getting up to leave, just so I get the full experience. At the entrance to the restaurant is a giant trash can with a compartment on top to place your trays when people finish eating. Just like every other fast food restaurant around the world has done since the beginning of fast food. You finish eating, you dump your trash, and you place your tray on top of the other trays; it's that simple. I've even seen 4 year olds climb on top of trash cans to get that tray up there. I'll give you one guess as to what this couple did with their trash.
Anyways, I learned two important lessons tonight:
1) I need to start tipping the tip bucket a lot more and not just the servers in a sit down restaurant.
2) Even douche bags can find love; but it's usually with another douche.